Author Topic: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread  (Read 13229 times)

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Offline marinomitch13

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The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« on: October 28, 2013, 09:53:54 PM »
Ok, Kongers, here is the Donkey Kong Beginner's Manual so far!!!:

http://wiki.donkeykonggenius.com/Donkey_Kong_Basic_Manual

Please read through and critique at will. At the top of the wiki is a link to the GoogleDocs version. You all should be able to place markers and make comments in-text so that we can get your precise suggestion. If you are not signed into a google account, your comments will show up as anonymous -please post your name at the beginning or end of your comment(s) in this case, then, so we can contact you if we have to ask any clarifying questions. Also, this is actually a copy of the manual, as we didn't want to be editing the document while people were trying to comment on things at the same time. At this point we'd like the DK community to take part in purifying this document even more -since I know there are many people much more more knowledgeable about DK and the English language than I am (or we, the editors, are).

Thanks, in advance for all of your help! Enjoy!

EDIT: I added an attachment of the DK manual as of March 11th, 2014, below!

EDIT 2 (10-13-14): We now have the manual in wiki form for easier maneuverability around the text!!!: http://wiki.donkeykonggenius.com/Donkey_Kong_Basic_Manual The GoogleDoc has been moved into this wiki link now as well to consolidate.

EDIT 3 (12-7-16): Cleaned up the google doc. Was long overdue. Should look a lot better now!
« Last Edit: December 07, 2016, 10:21:04 AM by marinomitch13 »
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Offline lifereboot

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2013, 06:39:56 AM »
Nice write-up.  I'm about halfway through and have found these edits so far:

page 3
Purpose of this work (as a section heading, I think you may want to capitalize Work)

page 7
you say that fireballs have slightly bigger hitboxes
is that true?  i haven't done any delving into DK code or done any experimentation, but in my experience, firefoxes are harder to jump over so I'd expect them to have larger hitboxes.

page 8
upon being smash. (should be: smashed)

page 13
extra space or larger font size for the space between "simply when" (when viewed as PDF)

page 14
As a note, though Jumpman way climb (should be: "may climb")

page 20
while Juman is in the air (should be "Jumpman")

page 20/21
To do this, Jumpman needs to cross over above the location (confusing, should be "cross over the location" ?)

page 22
jumped/leached (should be "leeched")

page 23
jumped over . (remove space between over and period)

page 28
climb up passed (should be "climb up past")

page 29
In this stage there are a bottom platform, three middle platforms, and four conveyors.
"there are a bottom platform" reads strangely. this would read better ordered as "In this stage there are four conveyors, three middle platforms, and a bottom platform."

page 29
Doing this immediately finishes the stage.
extra space or larger font size for the space between "immediately finishes" (when viewed as PDF)

page 30
unliek other Stages (should be "unlike")

page 31
continue onto another level (should be "continue on to")

page 33
isimportant (should be "is important")

page 33
eMimicking this level, first stage (looks like some content may be missing here?  I think you're aiming for "Mimicking this level, the first stage"

page 34
Conveyor Stage . (remove space between Stage and period)

page 34
the second is a Conveyor Stage (4-2)
extra space or larger font size for the space between "Stage (4-2)" (when viewed as PDF)

page 44
there seems to be an invisible image causing text to display oddly, one word per line
"that
you
can
steer" (when viewed as PDF)

page 46
just outrun or juke (can't find a definition for "juke" -- expect you meant "jump")

page 49
directly their release (should be "directly beneath")

page 50
Type 3 ( which (remove space between left parenthesis and which)
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Offline LMDAVE

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2013, 06:52:39 AM »
Juke is a football slang term meaning to shake/move back and forth to fake out your opponent (the defensive tackle) so you can pass them.
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Offline marinomitch13

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2013, 07:31:47 AM »
Excellent, Shaun! Thank you very much for your help! These will be added to my list to edit later today.

Everyone, feel free to keep them coming. Again, feel free to comment directly on the document too (within the link).

It's amazing how much an extra pair of eyes can find. I've nearly read this document 3 times over and I still missed a ton! As for any errors in formatting seemingly caused by graphics/pictures, those will hopefully be taken care of once Jeremy and I get together later tonight in Denver. I like the idea of double-checking everything in PDF form. I'll be sure to do this.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 07:53:12 AM by marinomitch13 »
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corey.chambers

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2013, 09:56:06 AM »
Mitch, I did a basic spell check and made some changes. I made one section red that needs your attention. I am making the adjustments based on Shaun's suggestions.

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2013, 10:03:00 AM »
The hitbox for firefixes are smaller than fireballs. This is based on Ethan's study and images.

corey.chambers

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2013, 10:28:11 AM »
I made all the changes except the following:

Page 13... I could not find the text "simply when"

Page 28... "passed" means having gone beyond a certain point, "past" means some time prior to this moment in time (past, present, future)

Page 44... Mitch will need to adjust some images at the point of final editing

Page 46... The term Juke has become associated with the process of placing Mario on one side of the type 3 wild barrel and then quickly moving to the left at the moment of the bouncing right. Maybe this should be more clearly defined or clarified in the text if we are to maintain the term.


Offline stella_blue

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2013, 11:26:06 AM »
Page 28... "passed" means having gone beyond a certain point, "past" means some time prior to this moment in time (past, present, future)

"For a beginner, the goal of this stage is to safely climb up passed past all of the girders until one reaches Pauline's platform at the top."

As used in the preceding sentence, "past" is the correct word (similar to "15 minutes past the hour" or "we drove past several office buildings").

« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 12:01:01 PM by stella_blue »
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Offline syscrusher

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2013, 12:11:07 PM »
Page 28... "passed" means having gone beyond a certain point, "past" means some time prior to this moment in time (past, present, future)

"For a beginner, the goal of this stage is to safely climb up passed past all of the girders until one reaches Pauline's platform at the top."

As used in the preceding sentence, "past" is the correct word (similar to "15 minutes past the hour" or "we drove past several office buildings").

Correct.  "Passed" is a verb and it doesn't make sense to use a verb there.

Congrats on finishing the manual!
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Offline lifereboot

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2013, 01:43:11 PM »
Finished reading all of it, here is the second half of suggested edits:

page 52
however, is
extra space or larger font size for the space between "however," and "is" (when viewed as PDF)

page 52
observation: oh, you did mean "juke" after all.  carry on!

page 52
when a it hits (should be: when it hits)

page 55
the ideal is
my brain stopped here for a second thinking "did they mean 'idea' ?"  it may read better as: the ideal situation is

page 57
preferable to ultimate (should be: ultimately)

page 59
If a barrel is passed this point (should be: "If a barrel is past this point" or "If a barrel has passed this point")

page 60
on these leveld (should be: levels)

page 61
it will be necessary for one to scoot over a bit more to the left to effect the same result as before. (suggestion: replace "effect" with "achieve" -- if keeping "effect" I believe the correct use here would be spelled "affect")

page 61
consists in (should be: consists of)

page 61
As mentioned earlier (add comma: As mentioned earlier,)

page 62
Similarly, directly below Donkey Kong is gonna be slightly more dangerous due to the “bombs” he may drop. (suggestion: rephrase to remove "gonna" -- Similarly, the area directly below Donkey Kong will be slightly more dangerous due to the “bombs” he may drop.)

page 62
the short ladders is most preferable. (should be either "the short ladder is most preferable" or "the short ladders are most preferable")

page 63
However, are two significant (should be: there are two significant)

page 63
On the previous levels this bouncing was more random and much less targeted towards Jumpman’s position yet still a threat. On levels 3 and 4, however, they will always bounce towards you. (suggestion: rephrase for flow and clarity: On the previous levels, this bouncing was more random and less targeted towards Jumpman’s position. On levels 3 and 4, Type 2 wild barrels are more of a threat because they will always bounce towards you.)

page 63
The two real ways to deal with this will be to either outrun a particular wild barrel’s bounceback, or else quickly spin around and smash the wild barrel as it bounces towards your feet. (suggestion: rephrase for flow and clarity: The only two ways to deal with this will be to either outrun a particular wild barrel’s bounceback, or to quickly spin around and smash the wild barrel as it bounces towards your feet.

page 64
ANother (should be: Another)

page 64
o nthese (should be: on these)

page 64
positioned just barely to the right (suggestion: positioned just slightly to the right)

page 64
bombs’ danger zone (may need to be: bomb's) -- this may read better as "to the right of the bomb drop-zone"

page 64
safe zone’s utilized in this process (should be: safe zones utilized in this process)

page 67
Type 2 can still reach you though!
extra space or larger font size for the space between "you" and "though!" (when viewed as PDF)

page 67
you'll be hit from the side; but if you do jump, you get hit in the head. (for consistency, should be: you'll get hit in the head)

page 69
The Conveyor Stage is a uniques screen (should be: a unique screen)

page 69
SInce the main (should be: Since)

page 71
the Conveyor Stage is not
extra space or larger font size for the space between "Stage" and "is" (when viewed as PDF)

page 72
parasoul (should be: parasol)

page 72
Top Hammer: (the colon is colored blue, should be black)

page 72
Conveyor Stage . (remove space between Stage and period)

page 72
a fireball descending upon
extra space or larger font size for the space between "descending" and "upon" (when viewed as PDF)

page 72
once your hammer runs out
extra space or larger font size for the space between "hammer" and "runs" (when viewed as PDF)

page 72
the Elevator Stage can be
extra space or larger font size for the space between "Stage" and "can" (when viewed as PDF)

page 72
hand/eye coordination (suggestion: hand-eye coordination)

page 73
Getting onto the middle Island: (for consistency with other tips in this section, should be: middle island)

page 73
From the Middle: (for consistency with other tips in this section, should be: From the middle:)

page 75
about 1 platform width higher (suggestion: about one platform width higher)

page 76
In genera,l (should be: In general,)

page 77
doesn’t matter the length (suggestion: the length doesn’t matter)

page 77
It helps to situate Jumpman so that he is half and half above the right edge of the Down Elevator pulleys (this sentence is confusing, and even as a DK player it took me a while to understand its meaning without a picture. suggestion: rewording)

page 77
you’ll need to start getting used to how much contact with the springs does and doesn’t kill him (for flow and clarity, recommend saying: you'll need to practice in order to learn what locations are safe or not.)

page 77
you will need to have a good timing running (should be: you will need to have good timing when running)

page 78
It is also likewise important (suggestion: It is also important)

page 78
This includes how they spawn/move and also the nature of their freezing cycle. (suggestion: This includes how they spawn, how they move, and the nature of their freezing cycle.)

page 79
ad they spawn about every 2 seconds. (should be: as they spawn about every 2 seconds.)

page 80
when/how they climb/descend ladders (suggestion: when and how they will climb or descend ladders)

page 83
so that you can get passed them to a rivet (should be: so that you can get past them to a rivet)

page 89
there seems to be an invisible image causing text to display oddly, only a few words per line
"(it is based off
of the last
name of the
player who
popularized it).
Having to use
the Staal"

page 91
much more sooner (suggestion: much sooner)

page 91
bottome (should be: bottom)

page 91
screenso (should be: screen so)

page 100
screen, the best
extra space or larger font size for the space between "screen," and "the" (when viewed as PDF)

page 102
nomally (should be: normally)

page 102
the right for rivet (I believe there is an extra word or a missing word here.  may be "the right rivet" or "the right-most rivet")
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Offline lifereboot

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2013, 02:15:36 PM »
After taking the time to read the whole thing, please allow me to recognize the effort that went into creating this manual.  As a practicing writer, I know that it is no small accomplishment to create, organize, and edit such a large amount of content.

I hope that the recommended edits I listed will be useful to you.  I'd also like to offer a few notes of constructive criticism:

As it stands, it is still relatively unpolished.  I know it's still a work in progress but I'd be upset if I paid $60 for it in this state.  Do what you need to increase its quality, and its value.

I'd like to see a better breakdown of "sections" of the manual, because right now it feels like it's just "INTRO" and "STRATEGY."  The Strategy section is never-ending and although there are headings introducing some paragraphs, it is a LOT of text.

Although I can appreciate what you're trying to accomplish by not leaving out any details, many parts in the Strategy section are challenging to follow even as a regular DK player.  If the intended audience is beginners, I fear they will not follow at all.  To offer an example, many of the tip sections read like "You will encounter two possibilities. The first is this, in which case you do this. The second is this, in which case you do this. But on rare occasions you may see this, in which case you'll want to do this, except in the cases where in that rare case it played out like this instead so you need to do this instead. Oh but if you're on Levels 3 or 4..." I think you get what I mean.

There are so few pictures it's almost shameful.  My understanding is that you're going to work on including more pictures.  In my opinion, a picture with a short description will say so much more than walls of text can.  For example, the discussion on Star Pattern versus Weave pattern could be almost completely eliminated with just two images.  Writing out the precise steps is less important than simply showing the difference between the popular patterns using images.

Although I understand that this is difficult to do with multiple writers contributing to the finished manual, I must stress the importance of consistent lingo.  Sometimes you say "smashing" or sometimes you say "hammering."  Sometimes you say "platform" and sometimes you say "girder."  When you're talking about removing the rivets you sometimes say "remove," sometimes say "unplug," and sometimes say "snag."  Pick single terms for each action or obstacle and stick with it.

On the topic of consistency, some of your sections are introduced with capitalization ("Smashing With the Hammer"), others are not ("Passing the first fireball").  Furthermore, sometimes the document has "3rd" or "4th" terminology written as regular text, and sometimes it's in superscript (where the rd in 3rd is smaller than the 3 and lifted).

This is just the writer in me talking, but I also want to stress the importance of brevity.  There are so many excess words that could be removed throughout the text.  Some examples:

"try to at least get the left side of the broken ladder as quickly and as safely as you can" does not need "at least" at all.

"Another piece of knowledge that is useful is understanding is" could be shortened to "Another helpful tip is"

"it has to be remembered that Jumpman" could be shortened to "Remember that Jumpman"

Finally, there are constant references to "the player" where you're moving back and forth between saying "One" and "you."  From a writing standpoint, this is technically wrong.

"If one is lucky, you actually might" should be either "If you're lucky, you actually might" or "If one is lucky, one actually might."

In my opinion, it is a "friendlier," and more personal experience as a reader to ALWAYS use "you," whereas "one" sounds very rigid and impersonal.  On that note, the tone of the manual bounces from using really sophisticated, almost mechanical words like "normative" to slang like "gonna" and "scoot."  I'd edit to shoot for a more middle-of-the-road tone where reading strategy will sound as though a friend of mine was explaining it to me in plain language.

I don't want to come off as too critical, because I do appreciate and respect the work that went into the manual.  It is a nice write-up, that needs some editing.  I just want to suggest some recommendations for making it great, instead of good.

Cheers
« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 02:21:04 PM by lifereboot »
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corey.chambers

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2013, 06:03:55 PM »
Thanks for your advice, Shaun. The original text was written be Vincent and we all know that English is his second language. Then Mitch attempts to take those concepts and rewrite the sections and write new ones. My job was to read through the text and make adjustments in order to clear up concepts and smooth up the text such as the examples you have shown. I personally started out in my general edit by trying to rewrite everything but given the time and interest that I had to give to the manual I would have needed a lot more time in order to write in that way. Often times, as long as the text made sense, I made little attempts to focus too much on that and had to just focus on the general flow and clarity of ideas. As a first edition, and given the circumstances, I think this is a very good text. It does need more pictures and hopefully newer editions will have more pictures. I am not ashamed of this text. I think that it will be helpful and useful. The cost for the concepts is invaluable. Most people will not be paying for a $60 color version. And if someone wanted a free copy from the Forum then they have that option too. We are just printing some out for people to make that format available to them.

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2013, 07:47:50 PM »
I just finished the second part of Shaun's edits. I found the space on page 13 now. I fixed the "past" issues.

Once again, Mitch will be doing some final editing in order to deal with the page 89 issue.

Thanks.

Offline Monstabonza

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2013, 09:50:59 PM »
I believe Page 25 has the wrong picture at the bottom of the page

Page 36: "The goal of this manual is to assist the beginner in achieving their first Killscreen with a score of around 850,00 points"
should be 850,000
« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 11:30:36 PM by Monstabonza »
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Offline marinomitch13

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Re: The Official Donkey Kong Manual Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2013, 01:49:04 AM »
Shaun, you, sir, are awesome. (Seriously! :) ) I'm amazed that you were able to stand reading through that much DK-ness so quickly and with such attention to detail.

To be honest, I had feared that I might have actually missed more grammatical errors than maybe just a few. After having gone through the manual so many times, I'm surprised I missed so many areas. It is really helpful for us that you were able to spot these errors!

Additionally, I can honestly say that many of the general suggestions you made in terms of terminology, repetitiveness, and complexity I had been consciously wrestling with while working through the manual myself. I asked myself things like: Will people know I am using these terms as synonyms? Will being more explicit about describing the situation bog down the reader? Or will it give them more clarity once they put in the effort to work through more words? How can we be more clear and simple while also being exhaustive concerning the essentials? Do we want this manual to be read like a book, or like an encyclopedia? Do we need a definitions/terms section and/or an index? I'm open to the fact that in some/many of these choices we've made some mistakes in our judgment. It's actually a whole lot ore important to me (us) that the DK community is pleased with and enjoys the manual than for it to fit some sort of expectation I may have.

Being honest, I agree with you, this manual can be polished much further. I had had my suspicions, but your review has confirmed them for me. Because of this, Jeremy and I talked about some of the details we'd like to improve on in the manual and have decided that we probably won't be selling the manuals at the KO3 (don't worry, we didn't spend any money on copies, so we didn't waste any money/paper). We'd like to continue work on the manual at a more reasonable pace for some more time before we come back with an updated version to then be critiqued again by the community. We really don't want to sell anything that we can't say we are totally proud of.

In the meantime, we will be working on putting up a website and looking for ways we might be able to make the manuals more customizable to purchase in hard-copy form, as well as cheaper. Feel free (as always) to offer even more suggestions on what you would like to see improved on in the manual. I will probably be coming back to this thread as I work on the manual from now on and will be asking more specific questions pertaining to the DK community's desired format/syntax/tone/etc. Thanks again, everyone!
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